According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize