You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
