I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize