I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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