I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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