These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
