Whod you bang
I have demons in me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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