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Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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