You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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