We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.