it wasn't lemon gatorade
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.