Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.

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  (304): my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app. http://tfl.nu/wpzp
  Replies (25) Good night (1332) Bad night (5999)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6235) Bad night (1161)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (16052) Bad night (1823)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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  (724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em
  Replies (12) Good night (3727) Bad night (1083)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vagina supports interfraternal relations

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  (215): My vagina supports interfraternal relations http://tfl.nu/ji34
  Replies (9) Good night (1618) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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  (301): Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again. http://tfl.nu/u94k
  Replies (4) Good night (2013) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

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  (304): You took my underwater blowjob virginity. http://tfl.nu/gggt
  Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.

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  (316): You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger. http://tfl.nu/ic08
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (1152)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.

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  (770): Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning. http://tfl.nu/57kn
  Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (622)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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  (864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (421)
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  (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (249)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!

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  (479): Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating! http://tfl.nu/g8qn
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...

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  (202): He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning... http://tfl.nu/6uz6
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  answer my text you professional douchebag

  (914): View more from New York

  and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible

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  (914): answer my text you professional douchebag (914): and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible http://tfl.nu/dtk0
  Replies (0) Good night (796) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.

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  (706): But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it. http://tfl.nu/x7s2
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (571)

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