my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy