If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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