Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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