can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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