Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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