Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
