i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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