Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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