I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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