the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
