He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drake has all the answers
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
