no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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