After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize