walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
