I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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