Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
