is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
