u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone