The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!