There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him