Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.