i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
