I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
