People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
