I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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