super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
