Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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