she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
