i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
