Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
