even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
