Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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