If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
