so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
