My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
