It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
organizing the empties. That sober.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
