4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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