he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
