Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
