I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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