Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He did a backflip because drugs
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