Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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