We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
