Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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