i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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