I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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