Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize