You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
