he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
