At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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