Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
