Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
