I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there is puke in my bra ... again
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
