I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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