How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
