yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize