Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
