I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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