hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
