ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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